Article 6: The Five Stages of Non-BPD Recovery

People who love someone with BPD seem to go through similar stages of recovery. The longer the relationship has lasted, the longer process, typically.

Confusion Stage. This generally occurs before a diagnosis of BPD is known. Non-BPs struggle to understand why borderlines sometimes behave in ways that seem to make no sense. They look for solutions that seem elusive, blame themselves, or resign themselves to living in chaos. Even after learning about BPD, it can take non-BPs weeks or months to really comprehend on an intellectual level how the BP is personally affected by this complex disorder. It takes even longer to absorb the information on an emotional level.

Outer-Directed Stage. In this stage, non-borderlines turn their attention toward the person with the disorder, urging them to seek professional help, attemping to get them to change, and trying their best not to trigger problematic behavior. Read more from Paul Mason, MS, and co-author, Randi Kreger from "Stop Walking on Eggshells" .

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