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Borderline Personality Disorder
Support for the Family and Relationship Partners

Have an emotionally difficult person in your life? It is estimated that there are 18 million husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, and children affected by Borderline Personality Disorder in the US. Few even know about it or are in treatment. Learn more.

We are the familly and relationship partners of individuals with BPD





Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder

Are you trying to determine if someone in your life suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder? You will find that this is a very complex question even for a PhD psychologist. There are no simple behavioral checklists. To be Borderline Personality Disorder, there is usually a dysfunctional pattern of handling emotional stress that dates all the way back to the teen years.

It is estimated that there are 18 million husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, and children affected by Borderline Personality Disorder. Few even know about it or are in treatment - but they know they struggle. Borderline Personality Disorder is a dificult disorder of the emotions and of self worth.

At the center of this disorder is a person with very high sensitivities to rejection and a limited ability to modulate emotional impulses. They are emotionally immature. This "exposure" is often masked by dysfunctional means of self-protection. Diagnosis requires knowledge of how a person has perceived and reacted to emotional events throughout their life. The most obvious external "symptom" of Borderline Personality Disorder perceiveable by others is a lifelong pattern of instability in important interpersonal relationships.

What is going in a Borderline Personality Disorder sufferer's mind and how they are outwardly acting can be two different things. To the sufferer, BPD is about deep, often too difficult to express, feelings that are something along the lines of(1):

If others really get to know me, they will find me rejectable and will not be able to love me; and they will leave me;
I need to have complete control of my feelings otherwise things go completely wrong;
I have to adapt my needs to other people's wishes, otherwise they will leave me or attack me;
I am an evil person and I need to be punished for it;
Other people are evil and abuse you;
If someone fails to keep a promise, that person can no longer be trusted;
If I trust someone, I run a great risk of getting hurt or disappointed;
If you comply with someone's request, you run the risk of losing yourself;
If you refuse someone's request, you run the risk of losing that person;
I will always be alone;
I can't manage by myself, I need someone I can fall back on;
There is no one who really cares about me, who will be available to help me, and whom I can fall back on;
I don't really know what I want;
I will never get what I want;
I'm powerless and vulnerable and I can't protect myself;.
I have no control of myself;
I can't discipline myself;
My feelings and opinions are unfounded;
Other people are not willing or helpful.



Dedicated to those who cope with individuals with borderline personality



To the family members, BPD behavior is often very frustrating and feels punitive - something like this (3):

You have been viewed as overly good and then overly bad;
You have been the focus of unprovoked anger or hurtful actions, alternating with periods when the family member acts perfectly normal and very loving;
Things that you have said or done have been twisted and used against you;
You are accused of things you never did or said?
You often find yourself defending and justifying your intentions;
You find yourself concealing what you think or feel because you are not heard;
You feel manipulated, controlled, and sometimes lied to.

As such, the most obvious "symptom" of Borderline Personality Disorder is a lifelong pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image and emotions.


Why is Borderline Personality Disorder Difficult to Diagnose

Borderline Personality Disorder is a relatively recent addition to the American Psychiatric Association Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) and the World Health Organization International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems (ICD). Accordingly, the majority of practicing mental health professionals graduating prior to 2000 have not been trained on the diagnosis and the treatment of this complex disorder as part of their professional curriculum.

Additionally, the clinical definition of Borderline Personality Disorder is very broad. It is defined in terms of nine criteria of which 5 or more are indicative of the disorder. This translates to 256 clusters of criteria, or constellations as they are known, any one of which is diagnostic for BPD. Within these constellations, there are high functioning borderlines that operate well in society and are not very obvious to new acquittances or the casual observer. In these constellations, there are the low functioning borderlines that are often more apparent as they can't hold jobs, and they self-harm (cutting). Suicidal attempts and ideation and anorexia/bulemia are some of the most serious aspects of this disorder - many with the disorder do not exhibit either.

Proper diagnosis and treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder is spotty at best with community health care providers, marriage counselors, family therapists. Most borderlines are undiagnosed or in treatment for other maladies such as depresion or PTSD. If your loved one needs care, it is best to use a specialist, preferably one associated with a University.

Test for Personality Disorders

Commonly used assesment tests includes include the Structured Clinical Interview (SCID-II), Personality Disorder Beliefs Questionnaire (PDBQ). There are rating tests such as the Zanarini Rating Scale for Borderline Personality Disorder (ZAN-BPD), and the McLean Screening Instrument for Borderline Personality Disorder (MSI-BPD).

The questionairre that appears in the right column is a simple 50 question instrument. Many of our members have taken the test on their own behalf and on the behalf of a loved one. You are invited to take the test and join in a discussion with our members. Membership is free to anyone with a loved one with the disorder.

Structured Clinical Interview (SCID-II)

The Structured Clinical Interview (now SCID-II) was formulated in 1997 by First, Gibbon, Spitzer, Williams, and Benjamin. It closely follows the language of the DSM-IV Axis II Personality Disorders criteria. There are 12 groups of questions corresponding to the 12 personality disorders. The scoring is either the trait is absent, subthreshold, true, or there is "inadequate information to code". SCID-II can be self administered or administered by third parties (a spouse, an informant, a colleague) and yield decent indications of the disorder. The questionairre is available from the American Psychiatric Publishing ($60.00).

Personality Disorder Beliefs Questionnaire (PDBQ).

The Personality Disorder Beliefs Questionnaire (PDBQ) is a brief self administered test for Personality Disorder tendencies. A list of questions most often aswered as "yes" by people with Borderline Personality Disorder is available to members of BPDFamily.com.

Diagnostic Tests - Other

Other commonly used assessment tests are rating tests such as the Zanarini Rating Scale for Borderline Personality Disorder (ZAN-BPD), and the McLean Screening Instrument for Borderline Personality Disorder (MSI-BPD). In addition there are some free, informal tests available - some BPDFamily.com members have found that these tests are helpful.


Below are characterization of the disorder by the National Institute of Health, The Mayo Clinic, and the American Psychiatric Association.

National Institute of Health Definition of Borderline Personality Disorder

People with BPD often have highly unstable patterns of social relationships. While they can develop intense but stormy attachments, their attitudes towards family, friends, and loved ones may suddenly shift from idealization (great admiration and love) to devaluation (intense anger and dislike). Thus, they may form an immediate attachment and idealize the other person, but when a slight separation or conflict occurs, they switch unexpectedly to the other extreme and angrily accuse the other person of not caring for them at all.

Even with family members, individuals with BPD are highly sensitive to rejection, reacting with anger and distress to such mild separations as a vacation, a business trip, or a sudden change in plans. These fears of abandonment seem to be related to difficulties feeling emotionally connected to important persons when they are physically absent, leaving the individual with BPD feeling lost and perhaps worthless. Suicide threats and attempts may occur along with anger at perceived abandonment and disappointments.

People with BPD exhibit other impulsive behaviors, such as excessive spending, binge eating and risky sex. BPD often occurs together with other psychiatric problems, particularly bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety disorders, substance abuse, and other personality disorders.

The Mayo Clinic Definition of Borderline Personality Disorder

People with BPD often have an unstable sense of who they are. That is, their self-image or sense of self often rapidly changes. They typically view themselves as evil or bad, and sometimes they may feel as if they don't exist at all. This unstable self-image can lead to frequent changes in jobs, friendships, goals, values and gender identity.

Relationships are usually in turmoil. People with BPD often experience a love-hate relationship with others. They may idealize someone one moment and then abruptly and dramatically shift to fury and hate over perceived slights or even misunderstandings. This is because people with the disorder have difficulty accepting gray areas — things are either black or white. For instance, in the eyes of a person with BPD, someone is either good or evil. And that same person may be good one day and evil the next.

In addition, people with BPD often engage in impulsive and risky behavior. This behavior often winds up hurting them, whether emotionally, financially or physically. For instance, they may drive recklessly, engage in unsafe sex, take illicit drugs or go on spending or gambling sprees. People with BPD also often engage in suicidal behavior or deliberately injure themselves for emotional relief.

Other signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder may include:

* Strong emotions that wax and wane frequently
* Intense but short episodes of anxiety or depression
* Inappropriate anger, sometimes escalating into physical confrontations
* Difficulty controlling emotions or impulses
* Fear of being alone

The American Psychiatric Association Definition of Borderline Personality Disorder

Personality disorders are diagnosed based on signs and symptoms and a thorough psychological evaluation. To be diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, someone must meet criteria spelled out in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). The DSM criteria note that people with BPD have a pattern of unstable relationships, self-image and mood, as well as impulsive behavior. These typically begin in early adulthood. This manual is published by the American Psychiatric Association and is used by mental health professionals to diagnose mental conditions and by insurance companies to reimburse for treatment.

A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
Personality disorders are diagnosed based on signs and symptoms and a thorough psychological evaluation. To be diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, someone must meet criteria spelled out in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). The DSM criteria note that people with BPD have a pattern of unstable relationships, self-image and mood, as well as impulsive behavior. These typically begin in early adulthood. This manual is published by the American Psychiatric Association and is used by mental health professionals to diagnose mental conditions and by insurance companies to reimburse for treatment.

A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1. frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5
2. a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
3. identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.
4. impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.
5. recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior
6. affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).
7. chronic feelings of emptiness
8. inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)
9. transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms

References:

(1)BPDFamily Staff Production included anonymous members Elphaba, LAPDR, United for Now, ForeverDad, NewLifeForHGG, and Skip, community leaders with professions in healthcare, education, and business.

(2) Assumptions in borderline personality disorder: specificity, stability
and relationship with etiological factors. Arntz, A., Dietzel, R., & Dreessen, L. (1999). Behaviour Research and Therapy, 37, 545–557


(3) Stop Walking on Eggshells, Paul Mason,MS and Randi Kreger, New Harbinger Publications; 1st edition (July 1998), ISBN-10: 157224108X

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