HEALING [Step 16]: In Step Sixteen you will continue the process of strengthening the healthy, adaptive parts of you that you first developed during childhood and later fortified in the early steps of your recovery. Your task now is to begin to organize and consolidate these healthy parts into an integrated, positive sense of self. As you refine this sense of self, you will find that you are more flexible, balanced and adaptive with respect to your thinking, your emotions and your actions. These are personal strengths that you can live with on a permanent basis!
While strengthening the healthy parts, you will also need to continue to resolve any feelings remaining from the past, especially those that make you susceptible to resuming old destructive behaviors. You probably have noticed that feelings related to the abuse last a long time. Although you probably have more resources internal as well as interpersonal to deal with these feelings now, certain situations can still evoke them. By now, self-sabotage should be an infrequent occurrence, as you are now aware of old patterns and able to stop yourself before you actually commit the destructive action(s). Likewise, you are better able to control your aggression, as you have refined new ways of coping with these feelings and learned to avoid or defuse old triggering situations.