Mourning [Step 8]: The initial step of mourning involves taking a full and honest inventory of the problem areas in your life, because you first have to identify what you want to change before you can begin to change it.
By now, you should be fairly clear as to how the abuse has affected your adult life. You may also have identified additional problems that you did not recognize earlier. If so, add them to your inventory. This inventory is more than just an accounting of your problems. It will serve as the blueprint for the changes that you need to make to create the "new you."