|
MEMBERSHIP REQUIREMENTS
The Facing the Facts Message Board Community provides peer support for the family and relationship partners of individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD) and other cluster B personality disorders (e.g. Narcissistic, Anti-social, Histrionic). Membership extends to individuals over 18; includes all religions and nationalities, and welcomes individuals of heterosexual, bisexual and homosexual orientation.
The principal purpose of our message board is to provide education and support to family, friends, and relationship partners of individuals with borderline personality disorder.
The qualifications for membership are six-fold;
1) |
that you have a current or past relationship with and individual with borderline personality disorder (BPD) and other cluster B personality disorder,
|
| 2) |
that you are serious about improving your current lifestyle and emotional well being,
|
| 3) |
that you are willing to support others in the improvement of their lifestyle and emotional well being,
|
| 4) |
that you will comply with the community rules,
|
| 5) |
that you will respect the board moderators, and.
|
| 6) |
that you are 18 years of age or older. |
REGISTRATION
Registration is immediate and only requires a valid email address. There is no membership fee.
In order for members to get to know you, new members are encouraged to write an introduction and post it in the category "[L1] Introduce Yourself Here, Tell Us About Your Situation"
Thereafter, members are free to post messages in the appropriate section of the board for your current life situation.
Single Account Only: Each member may register 1 account and user id. If an account that was previously set up cannot be accessed, and the "Forgot your Password" function does not resolve the problem, please contact us by email. If multiple accounts are detected by the software, both will be deleted and the user histories lost. Please do not open up a second account.
Privacy Policy: In order to provide a safe environment (from spam, solicitors, spying partners, it is necessary Facing the Facts web sites (bpdfamily.org, borderline-personality-disorder.info, facing-the-facts.net, ) to collect functional email addresses and other personally identifiable data about message board participants. All such information is collected and stored in a secure manner. Facing the Facts does not sell or otherwise disclose such information or use it for purposes other than to support the website. E-mail and Private message communications sent to the staff may be shared for the purpose of coordination.
Members with BPD: Members recovering from BPD are welcomed to participate as "nons" (i.e., discuss issues regarding a BPD in their life) provided, however, that they participate only on boards directly related to the "BP" in their life. A person with BPD should not attempt to provide a "BPD's perspective" on another members issues, defend a BPD's position on an issue (with the exception of discussions on the "Workshops" board), or try to work through their own "BPD" issues - there are other communities better equiped for this purpose. BPD members that have been active in the community for an extended period may apply to become "educators" and assist the membership in understanding BPD. There are guidelines established for this purpose. Please contact a moderator if you are interested.
Professional Members: Professional members on the board, participating in a professional capacity, shall register as a professionals and use their real identity. This includes therapists, writers, and researchers. Professional members shall provide credentials (i.e., proof of license, CV's, etc) to the moderators upon request. We welcome your participation.
TERMS OF SERVICE
Facing the Facts is a HonCode accredited site (accreditation # 764876). The Health On the Net Foundation is an NGO in special consultive status with the  economic and social councils of the United Nations. HonCode oversees the reliability of information on medical and health care web sites.
 Facing the Facts is committed to provide an environment of support, healing, open communication and safety. We ask you to do your part by complying with The Terms of Service set forth below.
Topics of Discussion: Member posts and threads shall be on topics directly related to matters associated with member's relationship with a “borderline” or the member's emotional recovery and well being. Members of the messageboard are not allowed to post information related to medical treatments or the use of prescription pharmaceuticals.
Off topic posts are only permitted in the board entitled "Our Non Sense - a place for humor, and current event discussions."
Hosting Discussions: Members shall host any thread (topic) they initiate. The host will help to refine the topic as it evolves, acknowledging the contribution of other members, and summarizing or commenting on the overall information provided, and otherwise being a good host. The host will close the discussion at the end or otherwise indicate that they are not engaged in the thread any longer.
All new threads should be centered on the hosts needs and directed to the membership at large. In no circumstance should a thread be started that specifically solicits a response from another member, or is directed to a specific group of members.
This message board is not intended to replace the care of professional healthcare providers. Relationships with individuals with BPD are difficult to understand. Members are advised that it is not appropriate to use this message board as a sole source of guidance or information. The opinions shared on the message board are simply peer opinions and are to be regarded as such.
Advising and Supporting Others: Members shall offer only compassionate, well founded, fact based advice. While it is anticipated that most members have little or no formal training in therapy, members are expected to read and have some reasonable foundation before giving advice to others. Collectively the membership is here to learn and grow as a group and it is important that we not recycle or reinforce incorrect or unhealthy ideas.
Members should offer advice as peer opinions targeted directly to the host of the thread. Members shall be patient and understanding of other members that are in different stages of the learning or healing process.
Members critiquing, or challenging the advise of others should offer their comments in a respectful, positive and constructive manner. Members should respect and embrace the opinions of others and recognize diversity as part of the learning process. Our common interests and goals are what brings us together - let it not be what comes between us.
Member should not "hijack" the threads of others by changing the subject. All posts should be targeted to the subject matter introduced by the originator of the thread. Our individual thoughts and ideas are important to each of us.
Workshops: Our workshop are conducted by volunteer members of this support group; they are not a product of licenced healthcare professionals.
Confidentiality: Members shall not post information that directly or indirectly discloses the identify of their family members, friends or relationship partners with BPD. This includes (but is not limited to) direct information such as real names, addresses, business/home/cell phone numbers, email addresses, etc., as well as, indirect information such as pet names, churches, etc.
Members having off-board information about another member shall not to disclose it. Off-board is defined as anything not posted by the member, themself, publically, on the FTF message board. Information learned from other sources, including any public or private source, should never be posted.
If such information is posted, the offending posts will be removed without warning.
It is also strongly recommended that members do not directly or indirectly disclose their own identity. You are discouraged from registering user names or avatars that you have used elsewhere, or disclosing personal facts that would be identifying to people in your life.
User Name: Members should select and retain one "user name" at FTF. Improperly changing user names causes confusion to readers and could result in your account being deleted as spam.
Members returning after a break and/or wishing to delete their account history and start anew should 1) retain their original user name, and 2) post a new introduction.
It is recognized that there are times when it is prudent to change user names (e.g., to preserve real life confidentiality). Members have the user option to do this. However, when a user name is changed, the moderators must be notified of the change for the account to be in good standing.
Off Board E-mail, Phone, or Other Contact: Members are encouraged to limit off board communications. In any case, members shall cease all off board communications upon request of the member they are contacting.
Potential Bodily Harm - Suicide: All suicidal ideation or threats are to be taken seriously. Many of our members are depressed at one time or another. Suicidal ideation is not uncommon in depression. The Journal of the American Medical Association has reported that 95% of all suicides occur at the peak of a depressive episode and often there is a progression from harmless ideations all the way to the act. The earlier we intercept someone in this progression, the more likely a suicide can be averted. Our goal in such situations is to stay in communication (tips on what to say), talk openly about the subject, and to gently guide the member to "live help" in a calm and non threatening way - typically a local suicide telephone chat line where the counselors can do everything from just answering simple questions and being a friend, to affecting phone traces and dispatching emergency teams.
Lookup Local Suicide Chat Lines (enter area code, or state, or and state/county)
Black and White and Otherwise Superficial Thinking: Everyone coming to this board comes from a very complex relationship and there are many factors for them to consider before making serious life decisions; emotional attachments, children/family members, finances, health issues, and other personal issues. Please read carefully what others say, feel free to inquire further, and offer thoughtful opinions consistent with their situation and their state of mind. For example, if a new member comes to the board, broken hearted after learning their loved one has BPD, it would be inappropriate to state that this person was foolish to enter the relationship, or is foolish for staying, and that leaving is their only option. Staying in contact, or choosing no contact with a BPD is an intensely personal decision, and coming to such an important decision takes time and a great deal of introspection. Each individuals process of contact is both fluid and individual, and should be respected.
Lying and Misrepresentations: This is an anonymous support group. Please use this anonymity to speak more freely and honesty than you can in your home environment. If you lie on an anonymous message board, you are not serious about improving your emotional well being or your lifestyle, and you're not qualified to be part of this community. Lying to us is lying to yourself, and that is a poor way to begin change and healing.
Divisive or Abusive Exchanges: All members should feel safe in their expressions; we are all here to heal from abuse. Please keep in mind that the membership is comprised of diverse experiences and backgrounds; this is a great strength of our community. Debate is healthy discourse when conducted in a respectful, and tolerant manner. Members shall not engage in divisive or abusive exchanges or be judgemental of other members. If a member has divisive or abusive behavior directed toward them, they shall not engage it, but rather try to defuse the situation, or ignore the behavior, or contact a moderator for assistance. Members shall not respond to an abusive exchange in kind. All members should feel safe in there expressions; we are all here to heal from abuse.
Excessive Anger, Excessive Blaming: It is recognized that most members have suffered emotional loses and abuse in their relationship with a “borderline”. Recognizing that the “borderline” is mentally ill, and understanding the role of this mental illness in the relationship is an important part of healing and recovery. Coming to terms with the abuse and/or understanding our roles is also part of healing and recovery.
Anger toward the abuser, particularly a oppressive abuser, is part of the healing process. However, indiscriminate anger, and or blaming directed at others other than the abuser is not healthy. Defaming “borderlines” as a group, is unhealthy and may be hurtful to other members, some of which are "borderline" and some of which have "borderline" children or grandchildren. Members shall not exhibit unhealthy anger or blame, or defame "borderlines" in general.
Suggestive or Graphic Content: Member are encouraged to explore all aspects of their relationship, including sex, and sexuality. Lewd, suggestive or sexually explicit imagery or graphics, however, are prohibited. This is a public forum. These posts will be removed from the board without warning.
Outside Services and Links: Many members post links to outside services and Web sites and this is an important part of the education process. Occasionally there are abuses and this can detract or interfere with a vulnerable member's healing process. For this reason, we ask that members do not recruit, solicit, or sell to members in any way, or use the message board to promote other sites or agendas or causes.
Profanity: Members are encouraged to express themselves and feel at ease doing so. Excessive or gratuitous profanity, however, is prohibited. This is a public forum.
Respecting Host Moderation: The initiator of a thread ("the host") is the first line moderator of that thread. Please respect that the topic of the host is important to the host. If you are uncomfortable with the discussion, its best to stay out and let it run it's course with other members. If you want to post and opposing point of view, do so in a constructive manner.
Respecting Staff Moderation: The moderators goal (directors, charter members, emeritus, administrators, moderators, advisors) is to provide and open and safe environment for members to discuss deeply personal and often emotionally charged issues.
These individuals are primarily in place to help keep discussions going smoothly, and to mediate unproductive distractions, like misunderstandings between members, or someone having an overly emotional or sensitive moment (keep in mind, many people are emotionally distraught and dealing with difficult personal issues and can become overcome with emotion), to clean and organize the board, and ridding the board of spammers, and the occasional saboteur.
This is a difficult position for that requires a great deal judgement and staff does their best to uphold the greater interest of the membership. Mistakes may be made, however, on board arguments or challenges of the decisions of moderation or the staff member communicating them will not be tolerated. These posts will be removed from the board without warning. If you disagree with the moderation or the conduct of the moderator, such discussions must take place via PM (contact any staff member). Constructively submitted moderation disputes will be carefully evaluated... we make mistakes and we do our best to acknowledge them and resolve them.
Corrective Actions The maintain a safe environment, the staff will impose corrective action when necessary. Any interruption is membership privileges will require a request for reinstatement. Note: If you sign up as another user name and post before the end of a "suspension" you will be permanently banned.
Complaints, Appeals You have recourse about a moderation decision and you have the ability to appeal a corrective action. Properly submitted complaints, or appeals will be reviewed by the staff as a group and re-evaluated. We suggest let the emotion subside before you PM us. If your intent is pure and your commitment to the process genuine, you are welcomed here. We are sympathetic to the difficulties you face - we all faced them too. We are open and welcome broad, diverse points of view (but not destructive behavior).
Copyrights: By posting on www.bpdfamily.com, www.bpdfamily.org and/or www.facing-the-facts.net, the author agrees that, for any content authored or owned by the author, the author automatically grants to all other message board participants, and any other person or entity affiliated with the message board, a perpetual, royalty-free, irrevocable and unrestricted worldwide right and license to use, reproduce, and distribute the posted content for the limited purposes of discussion and commentary.
Disclaimer Facing the Facts does not endorse any therapists, clinics, therapeutic styles or methods or other means or ways of recovery that are posted on the web site or this message board. The use of such resources or advice is the sole responsibility of the member.
Acceptance of Terms Logging into the message board is an acceptance of the terms of service. If you do not agree to these terms, please do not post on this web site.
|
