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MESSAGE BOARD MEMBERSHIP REQUIREMENTS,
REGISTRATION, AND TERMS OF SERVICE
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MEMBERSHIP REQUIREMENTS
The BPDFamily.com / Facing the Facts Message Board community provides education, support, tools, and perspective to help family and relationship partners of individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and other cluster B personality disorders (e.g. Narcissistic, Anti-social, Histrionic). Membership is extended to individuals of all religions, nationalities, and sexual orientations.
 The requirements of membership are six-fold;
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that you have a current or past relationship with an individual with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and other cluster B personality disorder,
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that you are serious about improving your current lifestyle and emotional well-being,
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that you are willing to support others in the improvement of their lifestyle and emotional well being,
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that you will comply with the community rules and respect the board moderators,
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that you are 18 years of age or older. |
REGISTRATION
Registration is immediate and requires only a user name, password, and valid e-mail address. There are no membership fees.
To help members get to know you, you are encouraged to post an introduction on the board entitled "[L1] Introduce Yourself Here, Tell Us About Your Situation"
Thereafter, you should post messages on the board that most closely matches your current situation.
Single Account Only: Each member may register one (1) account and user id. If an account that was previously set up cannot be accessed, and the "Forgot your Password" function does not resolve the problem, please contact us by e-mail. Please do not open up a second account. If multiple accounts are detected, both may be deleted and the user histories lost.
Professional Members: Professional members on the board, participating in a professional capacity, shall register as a professionals and use their real identity. This includes therapists, writers, and researchers. Professional members shall provide credentials (i.e., proof of license, CV's, etc) to the moderators upon request. We welcome your participation.
Professionals preferring to participate as regular members shall register using anonymous names. It is requested that you disclose your professional capacity to the staff which will be help in confidence. Thereafter, please feel free to join in the discussions in any of the boards that meet your personal needs. We do ask that you not disclose your profession to any members or refer to your professional training as that may give the impression that you are offering clinical advice. A message board is not a clinical environment where a sound client relationship can be developed.
Members with BPD: Members recovering or remitting from BPD are welcomed to participate as "family members" (i.e., discuss issues regarding a BPD in their life) provided, however, that they participate only on boards directly related to the "BP" in their life. A person with BPD should not attempt to provide a "BPD's perspective" on another members issues, defend a BPD's position on an issue (with the exception of discussions on the "Workshop" board), or try to work through their own "BPD" issues here - there are other communities better equipped for this purpose. BPD members that have been active in the community for an extended period may apply to become "educators" and assist in educating the membership about Borderline Personality Disorder. There are guidelines established for this purpose. Please contact a moderator if you are interested.
Privacy Policy: In order to provide a safe environment BPDFamily.com / Facing the Facts collects a functional e-mail address from you. Additionally, e-mail and personal message communications sent to the staff may be shared among staff members without notice. This information is collected, used and stored in an appropriate and secure manner. BPDFamily.com / Facing the Facts does not sell or otherwise disclose any information to third parties.
Use Policy: BPDFamily.com / Facing the Fact is a group therapy based environment were members are educated by the collective experience of others, guided by the academic resources published on the site. Clinicians often recommend that family members of someone affected by Borderline Personality Disorder have a strong support system outside of the home. BPDFamily.com / Facing the Facts is such a resource. This message board is, however, not intended to replace the care of healthcare professional. Members are advised that it is not appropriate to use this message board as a sole source of guidance or information. The opinions shared on the message board are peer opinions and are best used in conjunction with professional care. Workshops are conducted by volunteer members of this support group; they are not a product of licensed healthcare professionals. BPDFamily.com / Facing the Facts does not endorse any therapists, clinics, therapeutic styles or methods or other means or ways of recovery that are posted on the web site or this message board. The use of such resources or advice is the sole responsibility of the member.
TERMS OF SERVICE
Facing the Facts is a HonCode accredited site (accreditation # 764876). The Health On the Net Foundation is an non-goverment organization (NGO) in special consultive status with the economic and social councils of the United Nations. HonCode oversees the reliability of information on medical and healthcare Web sites.
  Facing the Facts is committed to provide an environment of support, healing, open communication and safety. We ask you to do your part by complying with The Terms of Service set forth below.
Topics for Discussion: Threads and posts should focus on topics directly related to your relationships with a person affected by a personality disorder or your emotional recovery and healing. As part of our commitment to HonCode, members are prohibited from recommending specific medical procedures or the use of specific prescription pharmaceuticals (other limitations).
Hosting Discussions: Members are expected to host of any thread (topic) they initiate. As host, they will help to refine the topic as it evolves, acknowledging the contribution of other members, summarizing or commenting on the overall information provided, and otherwise being a good host.
All threads should be centered on the hosts needs and directed to the membership at large. In no circumstance should a thread be started that specifically solicits a response from another member or is directed to a specific group of members.
Advising and Supporting Others: Members shall offer only compassionate, well founded, fact based advice. While it is anticipated that most members have little or no formal training in therapy, members are expected to read and have some reasonable foundation before giving advice to others. Collectively the membership is here to learn and grow as a group and it is important that we not recycle or reinforce incorrect or unhealthy ideas.
Members should offer advice as peer opinions targeted directly to the host of the thread. Members shall be patient and understanding of other members that are in different stages of the learning or healing process.
Members critiquing, or challenging the advise of others should offer their comments in a respectful, positive and constructive manner. Members should respect and embrace the opinions of others, not deride them, and recognize diversity is an important part of the learning process. Forum is the exchange of ideas, not a debate or an argument to be won. Our common interests and goals are what brings us together - let it not be what comes between us.
Member should not "hijack" the threads of others by changing the subject. All posts should be targeted to the subject matter introduced by the host of the thread. Our individual thoughts and ideas are important to each of us.
Suggestive or Graphic Content: Member are encouraged to explore all aspects of their relationship, including sex, and sexuality. Lewd, suggestive or sexually explicit imagery or graphics, however, are prohibited. This is a public forum. These posts will be removed from the board without warning.
Profanity: Members are encouraged to express themselves and feel at ease doing so. Excessive or gratuitous profanity, however, is prohibited. This is a public forum.
Potentially Contentious Content: Discussions on contentious political, religious, moral issues (e.g., euthanasia, abortion), or social advocacy topics (feminism, anti-government, male dominance) are discouraged. There are other venues better suited for this. There are other places to debate politics, religion, etc. and these debates are better suited for an venue where community camaraderie and trust and credibility are not a highly held values. The nature of the discussions at BPDFamily are best without the undertone of political or religious alignments.
Exclusive or Cliquish Content: Cliques can form within the boundaries of a larger group - being rewarding to those that are included, and at the same time, intimidating or off-putting to those that are not. In a community where there is a constant flow of emotionally injured new members, many suffering from diminished self esteem, we encourage the established members to be ambassadors of good will and reach out and be as welcoming and inclusive as possible. Appearances of exclusivity should be avoided, such as insider topics, insider jokes, threads targeted at friends, etc..
Outside Services and Links: Many members post links to outside services and Web sites and this is an important part of the education process. Occasionally there are abuses and this can detract or interfere with a vulnerable member's healing process. For this reason, we ask that members do not recruit, solicit, or sell to members in any way, or use the message board to promote other sites or agendas or causes.
Confidentiality: Members shall not post information that directly or indirectly discloses the identify of their family members, friends or relationship partners with BPD. This includes (but is not limited to) direct information such as real names, addresses, business/home/cell phone numbers, e-mail addresses, etc., as well as, indirect information such as pet names, churches, etc.
Members having off-board information about another member shall not to disclose it. Off-board is defined as anything not posted by the member, themself, publically, on the FTF message board. Information learned from other sources, including any public or private source, should never be posted.
If such information is posted, the offending posts will be removed without warning.
It is also strongly recommended that members do not directly or indirectly disclose their own identity. You are discouraged from registering user names or avatars that you have used elsewhere, or disclosing personal facts that would be identifying to people in your life.
User Name: Members should select and retain one "user name" at FTF. Improperly changing user names causes confusion to readers and could result in your account being deleted as spam.
Members returning after a break and/or wishing to delete their account history and start anew should 1) retain their original user name, and 2) post a new introduction.
It is recognized that there are times when it is prudent to change user names (e.g., to preserve real life confidentiality). Members have the user option to do this. However, when a user name is changed, the moderators must be notified of the change for the account to be in good standing.
Personal Message: This message board has a personal message (PM) capability so that members may contact one another privately. Members are encouraged to use this function with discretion. It is suggested that members not provide extensive offline consultations - instead encourage others to post their questions and ideas publicly. PMs should not be used for solicitations of any kind. [Note: The PM database is swept periodically, removing messages more than 90 days old.]
Off Board E-mail, Phone, or Other Contact: Members are encouraged to limit off board communications. In any case, members shall cease all off board communications upon request of the member they are contacting.
Potential for Bodily Harm - Suicide: All suicidal ideation or threats are to be taken seriously. Many of our members are depressed at one time or another. Suicidal ideation is not uncommon in depression. The Journal of the American Medical Association has reported that 95% of all suicides occur at the peak of a depressive episode and often there is a progression from harmless ideations all the way to the act. The earlier we intercept someone in this progression, the more likely a suicide can be averted. Our goal in such situations is to stay in communication (tips on what to say), talk openly about the subject, and to gently guide the member to "live help" in a calm and non threatening way - typically a local suicide telephone chat line where the counselors can do everything from just answering simple questions and being a friend, to affecting phone traces and dispatching emergency teams.
Lookup Local Suicide Chat Lines (enter area code, or state, or and state/county)
Black and White and Otherwise Superficial Thinking: Everyone coming to this board comes from a very complex relationship and there are many factors for them to consider before making serious life decisions; emotional attachments, children/family members, finances, health issues, and other personal issues. Please read carefully what others say, feel free to inquire further, and offer thoughtful opinions consistent with their situation and their state of mind. For example, if a new member comes to the board, broken hearted after learning their loved one has BPD, it would be inappropriate to state that this person was foolish to enter the relationship, or is foolish for staying, and that leaving is their only option. Staying in contact, or choosing no contact with a BPD is an intensely personal decision, and coming to such an important decision takes time and a great deal of introspection. Each individuals process of contact is both fluid and individual, and should be respected.
Lying and Misrepresentations: This is an anonymous support group. Please use this anonymity to speak more freely and honesty than you can in your home environment. If you lie on an anonymous message board, you are not serious about improving your emotional well being or your lifestyle, and you're not qualified to be part of this community. Lying to us is lying to yourself and that is a poor way to begin change and healing.
Divisive or Abusive Exchanges: All members should feel safe in their expressions; we are all here to heal from abuse. Please keep in mind that the membership is comprised of diverse experiences and backgrounds; this is a great strength of our community. Debate is healthy discourse when conducted in a respectful, and tolerant manner. Members shall not engage in divisive or abusive exchanges or be judgemental of other members. If a member has divisive or abusive behavior directed toward them, they shall not engage it, but rather try to defuse the situation, or ignore the behavior, or contact a moderator for assistance. Members shall not respond to an abusive exchange in kind. All members should feel safe in there expressions; we are all here to heal from abuse.
Excessive Anger, Excessive Blaming: It is recognized that most members have suffered emotional loses and abuse in their relationship with a “borderline”. Recognizing that the “borderline” is mentally ill, and understanding the role of this mental illness in the relationship is an important part of healing and recovery. Coming to terms with the abuse and/or understanding our roles is also part of healing and recovery.
Anger toward the abuser, particularly a oppressive abuser, is part of the healing process. However, indiscriminate anger, and or blaming directed at others other than the abuser is not healthy. Defaming “borderlines” as a group, is unhealthy and may be hurtful to other members, some of which are "borderline" and some of which have "borderline" children or grandchildren. Members shall not exhibit unhealthy anger or blame, or defame "borderlines" in general.
Respecting Host Moderation: The initiator of a thread ("the host") is the first line moderator of that thread. Please respect that the topic of the host is important to the host. If you are uncomfortable with the discussion, its best to stay out and let it run it's course with other members. If you want to post and opposing point of view, do so in a constructive manner.
Respecting Staff Moderation: The moderators goal (directors, charter members, emeritus, administrators, moderators, advisors) is to provide and open and safe environment for members to discuss deeply personal and often emotionally charged issues.
These individuals are primarily in place to help keep discussions going smoothly, and to mediate unproductive distractions, like misunderstandings between members, or someone having an overly emotional or sensitive moment (keep in mind, many people are emotionally distraught and dealing with difficult personal issues and can become overcome with emotion), to clean and organize the board, and ridding the board of spammers, and the occasional saboteur.
This is a difficult position for that requires a great deal judgement and staff does their best to uphold the greater interest of the membership. Mistakes may be made, however, on board arguments or challenges of the decisions of moderation or the staff member communicating them will not be tolerated. These posts will be removed from the board without warning. If you disagree with the moderation or the conduct of the moderator, such discussions must take place via PM (contact any staff member). Constructively submitted moderation disputes will be carefully evaluated... we make mistakes and we do our best to acknowledge them and resolve them.
Corrective Actions The maintain a safe environment, the staff will impose corrective action when necessary. Any interruption is membership privileges will require a request for reinstatement. Note: If you sign up as another user name and post before the end of a "suspension" you will be permanently banned.
Complaints, Appeals You have recourse about a moderation decision and you have the ability to appeal a corrective action. Properly submitted complaints, or appeals will be reviewed by the staff as a group and re-evaluated. We suggest let the emotion subside before you PM us. If your intent is pure and your commitment to the process genuine, you are welcomed here. We are sympathetic to the difficulties you face - we all faced them too. We are open and welcome broad, diverse points of view (but not destructive behavior).
Copyrights: By posting on www.bpdfamily.com, www.bpdfamily.org and/or www.facing-the-facts.net, the author agrees that, for any content authored or owned by the author, the author automatically grants to all other message board participants, and any other person or entity affiliated with the message board, a perpetual, royalty-free, irrevocable and unrestricted worldwide right and license to use, reproduce, and distribute the posted content for the limited purposes of discussion and commentary.
Acceptance of Terms: Logging into the message board is an acceptance of the terms of service. If you do not agree to these terms, please do not post on this web site.
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